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Saturday, April 3, 2010

A Miracle is Still Possible

It has been 16 months now that I have been living with End Stage Kidney Failure. The diagnosis itself sounds bad, so final. But really it is not. I had a very enlightening conversation the other day with my mother in law. We were talking about how bad my situation is some days and we were talking about all of the BS I have had to put up with along the way. I can look back now at my past experiences and realize, I have learned a lot and become much, much stronger. During our conversation she said something to me that has changed the way I look at the future. She said," I still pray everyday for you. I pray that God will work a miracle and wake your kidneys up. I know He can do it if he wants to." This really touched me. I think out of my family, friends, doctors and support group, she is the only person left praying for them to wake up. I have to admit myself, I had thrown in the towel on the possibility of a miracle at this point. But as we hung up the phone, I thought, God doesn't work in logic......he works in miracles. So, shame on me for giving up on the prayer of miracles. I pray daily to keep me alive and well to be with my family and friends, but I had given up hope that my kidneys might still wake up! I know a realist would tell me I am crazy.....that at this late in the game it would be impossible. It would be impossible for anyone, except God. So, thank you Ruthie for restoring my faith in miracles. Until our conversation I had accepted that this is it, but now I don't think so. I will continue to pray for a miracle, that my kidneys will wake up. And appreciate you for praying for this all along!
Love, JZ

1 comment:

  1. Jill, I still pray the same thing for you everyday. And I wish I could just give you one of my kidneys to make you "all better" You are a very strong woman!!! And very blessed to have the family you have! Lots of Hugs and Love, and I hope you and your family have a Happy Easter!!!

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