Fluid Overload

Yes, I am in fluid overload and very upset at myself. Yes, I know better and no, I'm not in "that bad of a condition" but I do need extra dialysis. How did this happen? One word, three letters, tea! Yes, I am admitting to drinking sweet southern tea. Any of you who have read my blog over the past couple years knows how strict I am with my diet, fluids, meds, treatments, etc. But since I have learned a transplant is around the corner, I've said to hell with the fluids!!! And I have been able to justify it by saying, "I'm not going to have ANY caffeine when I get Lindsey's kidney." So, I have really been enjoying it.....a little too much. In a few days I will lose about 10 pounds and thigs will be back to normal. But I cannot let myself do this again. I am very puffy, have edema and my skin feels too tight on my body. I am pretty uncomfortable and I am getting winded with simple activities. I am so mad at myself. And I feel extra guilty because I know my beautiful donor has already given up caffeine. I don't know how it happened. One day a couple weeks ago I started craving tea like it was a drug or something and tonight I am paying for it. My clothes even feel weird on me. I can remember being on hemodialysis and that machine could take off 10 pounds in a day.....peritoneal dialysis can't do that, unfortunately. But hey, at least I am miserable in my own bed and not some dialysis chair at the clinic (which I had many good times with many friends and those memories I cherish). So, I am putting it in writing, the romance with tea is over! It's been a nice fling but it has left me all bloated and feeling guilty inside. The first thing I do in the morning will be to throw away the remaining tea bags!!