May....be

Kidney failure has been a roller coaster of emotions. You may not have thought of this, but my two original kidneys are probably dead. I am sure they have atrophied and they haven't worked in over two years, so there are dead parts inside of me. When they first shut down and I felt the loss, it felt like someone had died. Only someone didn't die, only a piece of me died. It is a really strange feeling. I really mourned the loss of my birth kidneys. It was very hard to explain this feeling but it is the same feeling when someone passes away. They go on to their eternal life and we are left here to mourn the loss. It was so weird though, mourning my kidneys. And just like that loss I felt when they died, anticipating the new one is a lot like the anticipation I felt when I was pregnant and waiting for Madeline's arrival. So it's like a circle! I have emotions of joy and happiness when I think about receiving Lindsey's kidney. In some ways it will be like a rebirth. The rebirth of Jill Ziegler's organs!!!! So, just like in 2005 when I couldn't wait for that little 7 pound, 9 ounce blessing to arrive, I am feeling that same excitement and anticipation of this blessing, Lindsey's kidney.

We do not know the date of the transplant yet. Monday Iowa will call Lindsey with the news that the transplant board considered her favorable for transplant and then she will call me. We will pick the date. I am very blessed to have Dr. Reed doing my surgery. He is the best of the best. So we will work around his schedule. But I am praying to do the transplant on May 5th. All transplants at Univ of Iowa occur on Thursdays and May 5th happens to be on a Thursday this year. This day has special meaning to the Ziegler family. Chris's dad passed away on this day and it is Chris's birthday. I would like my transplant to bring some joy to this day for him. So, if you are reading this, say a little prayer for May 5th!